it's been a crazy time here lately. Doing my best to hold it all together. So I never was able to grow up knowing my mother, I'd had such a resentment against her all these years for various reasons, here things happen in my life. I come back to Georgia and finally have the relationship with her I'd always wanted. Now another thing happens, we find out she's got lung cancer. Did I come back and get her only to lose her? Life is cruel sometimes, but it's life. Trying my own therapy here writing about what's in my mind. I have started writing my book again. I want to put some of these adventures down before I forget them. Who knows maybe it will be a best seller on what not to do with your life. So yes I miss New Mexico with a passion, however I know my path has led me here for so many reasons. I have rekindled relationships with my dear mother, I have rekindled relationships with my siblings and it finally feels like I belong to someone. I've been able to reconnect with my tribe which is so very awesome. I do admit it has been quite a culture shock after living so long deep in ndn country. We have been able to get things here tho that we didn't before which is good. I got enrolled in school today, that feels really good. I do have to admit at times I'd love to be watching that sunset in the desert, sitting on the rocks in a quiet canyon praying to the holy ones and being a part of creator's magesty. I know we are lowly humans, we are pitiful and in the presence of the holy ones we are very small, but we are who and what we are. My mind rambles and it is in turmoil at the moment with thoughts all scattered not making sense but making sense.
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